Victim to Victor Part 5 - Next Steps Part 1

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We continue our Victim to Victor series with a powerful truth: The journey from victim to victor requires leaving. The paralysis of victimhood is simply not knowing how to leave.

Life is full of turning points—transitions from one stage to another. Childhood to adolescence. School to work. Marriage, grief, relocation, aging. Change is inevitable, whether we choose it or it’s forced upon us. The secret to success in any transition? Attitude.

In this episode, we look at Israel’s second great crossing—not the Red Sea, but the Jordan River (Joshua 3). The Red Sea ended 430 years of slavery. The Jordan ended 40 years of wilderness wandering—years of going in circles, striving but never arriving, living by sight, fearing the enemy, and being constantly reminded of past failures.

Standing on the banks of the Jordan, the Israelites faced a new obstacle. Behind them was the barren wasteland of discipline. Ahead were walled cities, armies, and giants. Forty years earlier, their parents refused this same transition. But this generation, under Joshua, was ready.

The crossing of the Jordan is not just an escape—it’s a whole new way of living. Victims spend their lives trying to escape what happened to them. Victors discover a new way of living.

We share a deeply personal moment: Lisa’s flashback years into our marriage. Why would God allow that painful memory to resurface? Because that moment became her turning point—no longer just trying to escape the trauma of that night, but a true crossover from victim to victor.

Transition is bittersweet. It’s freedom and fear all at once. It’s scary to stop trusting your own resources and start trusting God completely. But the question is: Will you cower in fear of what lies on the other side, or will you move forward in confidence to enter a new place of promise?

It’s time to take your next step.

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:08

Hi everyone, Pastor Don Smith here. Welcome to the Talk About It Podcast, where we take relevant topics with a biblical point of view and we talk about it. You know you want to, so do I. Let's talk about it. Well, once again, welcome back everyone to the Talk About It Podcast. I am so glad that you are here. I'm Pastor Don. Most people call me PD, and I'm excited that you're here on the podcast with us today. This is an amazing, amazing topic that we've been talking about. Here we are, season nine. This is gonna be episode five. And uh if you've been, if you're a longtime listener, you know you know how we do here. We just take a relevant topic with a biblical perspective and we talk about it. If you're a first-time listener, we love you. Thank you for joining us. Do us a favor, though. Just push pause right now where you're at. Right there. Just push pause. Go back to episode one in season nine and catch back up with us here. We'll be here waiting. Don't worry. We're not gonna leave without you. We'll be here waiting for you, and then you'll be on caught up on the current topic. Now, I have received some emails, some text messages, and some just even stop uh in public and say, Pastor Don, we are really loving uh this topic. Thanks so much. You have no idea how that kind of encouragement is so uh so much a blessing uh just to me and the effort that we put into hear it, talk about it uh to making this happen each and every week. That's our commitment. Each and every Tuesday morning, if you didn't know, each and every Tuesday morning we drop a new episode. We this will be episode 106. So for 106 weeks straight, we have not missed an episode. Come on, that you know, just uh celebrate with us. That's so great. Um, and uh, we're excited, all because of you. You guys are supporting in a lot of different ways. You're praying for us, you're sharing the podcast on your social media. I see that all the time, and that just blesses my heart uh in ways you just can't imagine. And then uh some of you are supporting uh on a monthly basis. Did you know you could do that right there in your show notes? Put just push support the podcast, and it'll show you a little less than$3 a month, as much as$10 a month. It all helps. And uh just for your info, I save all of that money to uh take trips to Africa to train pastors with Nation to Nation Christian University, because I'm a professor there as well. And uh man, just so many good things that are happening. I'm so excited for our partnership. I'm so excited for your faithfulness. Send me a text, send me an email, let me know what you think about the podcast. And you know what? If there's ever a topic that you think, man, I would really love, I would really, really love to hear a little bit of a conversation on this particular topic from a biblical perspective. I'm not afraid. I'm not afraid to do it. So you can send me that as well. Thank you so much for who you are and what you're doing today. Everybody say today. Today we're gonna talk about next steps. Now we're talking about victim to victor. So we're uh we're we're working on what it means to overcome the victimhood complex, okay? And uh man, our journey so far has been great. And uh today I want to talk about next steps. Everybody say next steps. There you go. If you're taking notes, uh man, do that. Uh, you know, also if you'd like a copy of like what I put together for uh, you know, uh my podcast here and those kind of like the the script uh and those things to help me keep my thoughts as we move through the episode. I I'm happy to send those to you, but you gotta send me an email or a text, uh, and it'll be right there. So um I want to talk today a little bit about next steps because I think it's important. Uh once we've realized, okay, I've been living in a victimhood complex and I don't want to live here, but I don't know how to overcome it so that I can be a victor. So next steps are required, and I think that's very important. And today I'm gonna share some things with you that I think are gonna help us. Are you ready? All right, now let me let me make this statement right at the offset, okay? Victims stand still, victors move forward. Just process that for a minute. All right. So the journey from victim to victor requires leaving. You can't you can't you can't go to a new place if you won't leave the old place. Oh, that there's a revelation for you. See, the paralysis of victimhood is not knowing how to leave. Okay, so let me uh if if you've listened to the podcast uh for very long, you probably know that every season, now I did a season on forgiveness, okay. If you haven't listened to that season, you really need to listen to that season. In that season, uh uh I sh Lisa, my wife, shares, we share her testimony, and then in uh another episode, we also do an interview with her, and and uh we share what happened 40 years later. It's all of those type of things. But if you haven't heard that, you need to go listen to uh the forgiveness series. Just look up the episodes, find Lisa's testimony, and I promise you it's going to rock your world. It is incredible what God did. But I want to tell this little story right now in case you haven't heard that. Uh, one one year in our marriage, uh, well, let me just preface it this way. Um, if you don't know my my wife's testimony, she she was uh incredibly abused at age 15. Uh she experienced rape. Um, and uh it was it was just it was a it was a terrible time in her life at age 15 years old. And anyway, here we are years later married, okay? And now she is, you know, um in her 30s, okay? And it's all these years later, and one night uh it was just her and I, and uh, I'm not gonna go into details, uh, but she had a flashback moment. Now, if you probably know what I'm talking about when I say those moments. This is years after we were married. Now, I've never mistreated her, we've always loved each other. We have this great, I think we have a great relationship of honor and respect and and those type of things, but something happened, and I don't need to give you the details now, but she had a moment of flashback, and it it was uh pretty intense. Okay, I I can say that word. And uh it was a it was a moment where she literally became paralyzed by fear because of the flashback. Uh, we worked through it, it was a beautiful moment of the Holy Spirit and all of those things. Now, why do I share that with you as we're starting here today to talk about next steps? Um, because victims stand still, but victors move forward. And the paralysis of victimhood is not knowing how to leave. And um that's where my wife was at in that moment, even all those years later. Let me say this to us, talk about it. Life is full of turning points. Somebody can say amen or owe me. Sometimes uh change prepares us for the road ahead and fulfills God's purpose in our life. Let me say this again, okay? Life is full of turning points, and those turning points can be times of change that prepare us for the road ahead and fulfill God's purpose for our life. Can I can I just can we be honest for a moment? Listen, transitions are universal. Let me prove it to you, okay? Young young children move into adolescents, teenagers move into young adults, school transitions, work transitions, grief, divorce, job relocations, physical transitions. I could go on and on and on and on. Uh, even even growing older. Uh, hello, somebody, here I am talking about it. I'm uh, you know, I'm in my middle 50s now, and and just there are transitions that are happening. Listen, age changes things. This is what I'm learning in my middle 50s. You right? Let me just tell you, in my middle 50s, here's what I'm saying. Who changed everything when I wasn't looking? I've noticed lately that everything is further away than it used to be. Come on. I've noticed that it everything's further, and somebody put a hill in the way in between me and what used to be. Now I gotta work harder to get there. And it seems to me that they're they're making stairs steeper than they used to be. Y'all know what I'm talking about. And there's no sense asking anyone to read anything aloud anymore because now that I'm in my middle 50s, everybody speaks so softly that I can hardly hear them anymore. Or maybe it's my hearing that's changed. Y'all get the point. How about clothes size? Close size. Why are they making clothes smaller than they used to? It come on, you know I'm talking about because I sometimes I eat so many little Debbie snack cakes that I'm expanding the ministry. Come on. Even people are changing. They're so much younger than they used to be when I was their age. Hello, somebody. Come on, talk about it. I mean, it's weird being the same age as old people. Who changed things? Definition of transition. Are you ready? It's the passage from one state or stage to another. And the fact is, change is inevitable. And whether it's change we choose or change presented to us, change is inevitable. And the secret to success in any transition is attitude. Somebody say, Amen, or old me. Come on, talk about it. So to realize the promise of God, you and I must be ready to move forward ahead obediently into transition, even with all the uncertainty that comes with change. That's why we don't like it. We don't like change because of the uncertainties. Now, one of my favorite Old Testament books, the book of Joshua, okay, and I love teaching out of it. I love preaching out of it. I love it when my discipleship groups get to move into the book of Joshua and the things, especially that pertain to the heart of a man in the book of Joshua. So Joshua was given the task of leading Israel from one stage of living in the wilderness to crossing over to the other side of Jordan into Canaan to live out God's promises. Okay. Now, the other side, put that in quotations, if you will. The other side represents God's given destinies. That's the plans and the purpose for the whole new way of living, okay? So let me talk to you here about Joshua chapter 3. It's verses 1 through 4. Can I just, I'm gonna just read it. Early the next morning, Joshua and all the Israelites left Acacia Grove and arrived at the banks of Jordan River where they camped before crossing. Three days later, the Israelite officers went through the camp, giving instructions to all the people. When you see the Levitical priesthood carrying the Ark of the Covenant of the Lord your God, move out from your positions and follow them. Since you've never traveled this way before, they will guide you. Stay about a half a mile behind them, keeping a clear distance between you and the ark, and make sure you don't come any closer. It's interesting. I love this portion. It's interesting because let me talk to us for just a moment about the meaning of the crossing. Everybody's just like, oh, they got to cross the Jordan to get into the promised land. But let me talk to you about the meaning of the crossing because it's so significant in this moment. Every transition in life is preceded by some kind of obstacle. Let's just own it. Okay. Every transition in life is preceded by some kind of obstacle. Now, for the Israelites, it was the Jordan. That's easy. We see that. We know that. We're very familiar with the story. They couldn't even begin to fight the enemy until they crossed that major hurdle. Okay. And so the stakes are so high here. Um there's no turning back. Okay. Behind them was this vast wasteland of desert and these barren mountains. And they had endured 40 painful years of God's discipline. And now it's time for what we call the next step. Are you with me talking about it? And this is just as a significant time as when they would have stood on the banks of the Red Sea. Are you remembering that story as well? Okay, this is not their first crossing. It's the first time they're going to cross the Jordan, but they they had been on the banks of water that was an obstacle before. And there they were standing at the Red Sea. And this, and and and on the bank of the Red Sea, it was going to end 430 years of slavery. Standing on the banks of the Jordan now, 40 years of wilderness existence was going to end. Oh my. Let me just let me lay it out to you so you understand what I'm talking about. The end of 40 years of walking in a circle and going nowhere, that was going to end. The end of striving and never arriving, that was going to end. The end of walking by sight, that's going to end. The end of independent living. The end of never being assured of victory over the enemy. The end of being constantly reminded of past failures. The end of fear. The end of self-centered existence where life was all about them. I could go on and on about what is about to end as they stand on the bank of the Jordan River. This is a moment of transition that's going to change Israel from a wandering nation to a settled nation. This is going to change them from being a people living in a hope of promise to a people living in possession of the promise. And so while the crossing of the Red Sea equaled an escape and a liberation, the crossing of the Jordan River equals a whole new way of living. I'm talking about next steps. This is how we move from victimhood to victor. We gotta have a whole new way of living. Hello, some I often tell people who are struggling in their marriage you can have the marriage that you want with the person that you're married to. You just can't be married like you were yesterday. You gotta have a whole new way of living. I want you to remember this. If you don't remember anything on today's episode, I want you to remember this. Victims spend their life trying to escape what happened to them. Victors discover a whole new way of living. Let me say it again. Victims spend their life trying to escape what happened to them, but victors discover a whole new way of living. When it comes to victimhood, the human inclination is to get used to our familiar habitat. Change doesn't come easy to anybody. I'm gonna say it again. Change doesn't come easy to anybody, and the answer is always next step. Let me let me just go back to this flashback my wife had. I for some reason I just can't leave it today for I not you need to go back and listen to the forgiveness series, her testimony. And the three the three episodes together are incredible. Why why did the Lord allow my wife to have this moment of a horrible flashback? That was my question. I'm just gonna be honest. Because hasn't she been through enough? Come on, I love her and I don't want her to deal with this. Hasn't she been through enough? Now, this was years and years ago, okay? Because I was upset that she, not at her, but at this moment of flashback that was happening. Why? Why, Lord? Why, Jesus? Why are you allowing my wife to have this moment of horrible flashback? Hasn't she been through enough? Now, if you've been a victim, you understand this principle, this idea, this way of thinking, because it's like, haven't I been through enough? I'm I'm I'm just tired of being a victim. And let me just give you the only answer I think I can in a loving way. Because this was the moment of transition from victim to victor. Emotionally, it was the turning point in her life. Now, I know that now. I didn't know that then, but I know that now. This was emotionally the turning point in her life. And all of a sudden, a new way of living came about because of this moment. No longer just trying to escape the memory and the emotional and the physical trauma of that night when she was 15 years ago or 15 years old. But now she's having this crossover moment to transition from victim to victor. Oh my, it's you have to go back and listen to it, okay? Now the crossing over, the victim to victor, it was much more than moving the camp from one side of the river to the other. And for Lisa, my wife, it's the same way. It's much more than just, okay, now finally I'm over it. I'm never gonna have to deal with this emotionally again. This was a time for Israel and even for Lisa for commitment. A time of ending one era and entering into another. And to further complicate it, a definite sense of uncertainty always accompanies crossings. Because we only know how to live the way we've always lived. We only know where to live where we always lived. There's always uncertainty in next steps. On the other side of the river, for the Israelites, we're walled cities. On the other side of the river, for the Israelites, we're defending armies. On the other side of the river, for the Israelites, we're even giants. Well-equipped warriors. Forty years. Forty years prior, Israel had been presented with some choices to make. A transition, and they refused. And this time, Joshua was ready. He was ready for the next steps. Talk about it. Transition time, for the most part, is always a bittersweet experience. It can be freedom and fear all at the same time. I can't I can't water that down for you. I mean, if we're gonna have honest conversations about how we want our lives to change, we need to face realities about the things that change require and the things we will experience during change. Next steps. Transition, for the most part, is always a bittersweet experience. It can be freedom and fear all at the same time. And it's scary to go from trusting our own resources and ourselves for life to trusting God for life. Isn't it? Just say amen. Oh me. Come on, talk about it. See, from our own do-it ourselves projects to trusting God to do it for us and through us is a next step adventure that takes some bravery. And here we are today at the end of this podcast, this episode. The question is this Are you gonna cower in fear of what lies on the other side of the crossing or move forward in confidence to enter a new place of promise? You see, that's what happened to my wife that night. She had this flashback moment and she cowered. She she crawled over into a corner and sat down and began to weep. And I went over and sat down with her. We began to pray together, and the Holy Spirit met us in this moment. And so the question was, are we gonna sit here in fear because of what happened to you? Are we gonna let fear paralyze us from moving forward together? You're not alone anymore. Are we so scared of the unknown on the other side that we don't have any confidence in the promise of God about the other side? It was there were some great questions that night, and I hope some way, somehow, you can just apply that to where you're at right now. I need you to understand something today. Next steps are always required for a change. If you want to be someplace else, you cannot stay where you are. If you don't want to be a victim anymore, you must start moving toward the areas and the places that will cause you to be a victor. You see, too many people, too many people remain in the place of victimhood because they're paralyzed. They're paralyzed. And they don't know how to make next steps or can't make next steps because they're so familiar with where they're at and what's going on. Talk about Let me tell you something. This is one of the most pivotal episodes in this season, okay? And I don't know what you need to do if you just need to put it on repeat. Sit down, listen to it again, take some notes. I'll send you mine. It doesn't matter, okay? Whatever you need to take the next steps, I want to encourage you to do that because you do not have to live in victimhood. Okay, God is calling you from where you are to where he wants you to be. And in order for that to happen, you gotta take the next steps, alright? And I want to encourage you to do that, alright? And I'm praying for you and I'm believing that God's gonna do that in your life and in your family's life. Would you do me a favor? There's gotta be somebody that you know that can benefit from this conversation as well. Now, next week I'm gonna pick up and I'm gonna give you five things that took place in the transition from victim to victor in this scenario, okay? So it's gonna be next steps, part two, and that's gonna be next week. So you're not gonna wanna miss it. You're gonna have to be right back here, okay, with a notepad and a pen and a paper or whatever it is you take some notes on, okay? Because I'm gonna give you five things that took place in this transition from victor, victim to victor that's gonna bless you and help you. Until then, I'm so glad you were here this week. Thank you so much for tuning in. It means the world to me. Share this on your social media, copy the link, send it out there. However, you listen to it. It doesn't matter, it's on all the podcast platforms. I love you, and I'm so grateful for you, but I need you to understand this as much as I love you. Jesus loves you more. I'll see you next week.